The look you gave me used to be feeled with love and compassion for a person who just really didn't deserve it. With every sound , it surrounds and I just thought I would never feel this way, but today
It's just not the same.
I Begin today, but its still the same
my trust is in you God where I know that I can look, a space that is filled, and the void can finally be complete.
With the I love yous and the I miss yous are way to much to handle, but when I last saw you,
It all started to make since, you were gone and I saw
that this memory was a dream that I just didn't sleep long enough to finish.
There was a presence in your eyes that now is lost and a pain in my heart breaks me as I meet the new me. But isn't it said that every fairytale has a happy ending?
I give this to God, but the call is sad and even sometimes the pain is way to bearable. But, as I see this through someone Else's eyes and then through mine, they probably wouldn't have went this far with you..But, as I live without, there is no doubt, that I will always be stronger than this.
The situation narrows, as you only give me sorrow, but I will be as strong as Job and give this to God, before the Situation puts me six feet under this sod.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him. Forever in the next.
Amen.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Exposed
The Wonderful Cross
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name
Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all
Today I awoke to darkness and silence surrounded me like I've never been embraced before. All the things that I had held down were exposed and there was nothing in my power that I could do. It was like the fly, that had reached its 23 hour of the 24 hours that it is allowed to live. When I started to wonder why I felt this way or why, it just seemed like this at that moment, it reminded me that I was deceitful to myself and those around me. I began my day and asked God for a reason, but I had done this to myself just like the child that burns their hand because they see the fire and don't ask questions.
God responded to me as my tears begin to flow, "Tell them, tell them all what you've done." As I contemplated that, my fears began to jump up and down and the thoughts of doing that flowed like an untamed river, but as I thought back and thought about the deceit, I began to understand more. I deceived those who matter a lot and to those who were there for me when the darkness surrounded me, like a consuming fire. And even though I knew that, I always thought that God was my consuming fire...but he had temporarily been replaced by temptation and lies.
As I scrambled to get back to a place of safety, things just seemed to get darker....I was going about it the wrong way..
I needed to speak up and show that I to needed help, just not from others, but from God. I needed to know when I was wrong and how to open up, just a little bit better instead of taking my prideful ways and keeping it built up and swelled up inside. I love God in time of needs because it's, he's, the one that shows us who we really are. I divided myself with this new experience and as I try now to change my ways, I thank God everyday for allowing me to go through this. Unlike those that told Job to curse God for his tragedy, I too received faith in God like Job did and persevered by praising instead of sying!
God, today I come to you broken and ashamed. God I've done things this time that I regret and really don't have an answer on why I did them. God please bless my family and my friends that put up with me on a daily basis and yet still have more than just love for me. God please bless those that have less than I do and show them in you own way who you are and just how great you are to your children. God I'm thankful for being a child of God, but tonight could you please just bring me peace and to those also around me that need it, whether it be for the same thing or for forgiveness of something else. But God, bring them into your kingdom and show them only grace. God, show those who are lonely today or who are just wondering where you want them to go with your love to show to those who don't even know it yet, but God may you be the lamp to their feet and their love and to just let them know that your in control and never will you forgive us or forsake us. God thank you, and we praise and love you, all of this, one scarred hand to another.
1 John 2:9-11
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there's is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name
Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all
Today I awoke to darkness and silence surrounded me like I've never been embraced before. All the things that I had held down were exposed and there was nothing in my power that I could do. It was like the fly, that had reached its 23 hour of the 24 hours that it is allowed to live. When I started to wonder why I felt this way or why, it just seemed like this at that moment, it reminded me that I was deceitful to myself and those around me. I began my day and asked God for a reason, but I had done this to myself just like the child that burns their hand because they see the fire and don't ask questions.
God responded to me as my tears begin to flow, "Tell them, tell them all what you've done." As I contemplated that, my fears began to jump up and down and the thoughts of doing that flowed like an untamed river, but as I thought back and thought about the deceit, I began to understand more. I deceived those who matter a lot and to those who were there for me when the darkness surrounded me, like a consuming fire. And even though I knew that, I always thought that God was my consuming fire...but he had temporarily been replaced by temptation and lies.
As I scrambled to get back to a place of safety, things just seemed to get darker....I was going about it the wrong way..
I needed to speak up and show that I to needed help, just not from others, but from God. I needed to know when I was wrong and how to open up, just a little bit better instead of taking my prideful ways and keeping it built up and swelled up inside. I love God in time of needs because it's, he's, the one that shows us who we really are. I divided myself with this new experience and as I try now to change my ways, I thank God everyday for allowing me to go through this. Unlike those that told Job to curse God for his tragedy, I too received faith in God like Job did and persevered by praising instead of sying!
God, today I come to you broken and ashamed. God I've done things this time that I regret and really don't have an answer on why I did them. God please bless my family and my friends that put up with me on a daily basis and yet still have more than just love for me. God please bless those that have less than I do and show them in you own way who you are and just how great you are to your children. God I'm thankful for being a child of God, but tonight could you please just bring me peace and to those also around me that need it, whether it be for the same thing or for forgiveness of something else. But God, bring them into your kingdom and show them only grace. God, show those who are lonely today or who are just wondering where you want them to go with your love to show to those who don't even know it yet, but God may you be the lamp to their feet and their love and to just let them know that your in control and never will you forgive us or forsake us. God thank you, and we praise and love you, all of this, one scarred hand to another.
1 John 2:9-11
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there's is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Untitled
As I walk , through a crowded hallway I hear their screams, pains, and thoughts, but mine are just as loud. They say the empty can rattles the most, but the weight of the world, sounds the alarms.
The knock is louder than before and the banging never stops. They all begin to run and bumping and knocking each other down, it all just became our options.
The door is now open slightly and nice guys always finish last. It's the place we've chosen and the place that the world, has chosen for us.
Psalm 73:21-28
The knock is louder than before and the banging never stops. They all begin to run and bumping and knocking each other down, it all just became our options.
The door is now open slightly and nice guys always finish last. It's the place we've chosen and the place that the world, has chosen for us.
Psalm 73:21-28
Thursday, January 7, 2010
surrender
Death, is a mystery, even to me. I've been to Hell and back, seen the throne of Satan, sat the right side and even walked amoung the legion.
I lost many years and tears, is all I have, left.
The light showed dimmed
and the reaper grinned
I just never found a way.
I disobeyed.....
Year by year
with many fears,
where did I go wrong?
Day by day,
Tear for every conflicting beer,
I still never realized the pain.
My wants and my ambitions got in the way
I was just trying to divide the pain
but I put myself into this situation.
I struggled and fought
found myself conflicted with every thought
And still....I disobeyed
I learned and tried to listen
to every premonition,
but God had a much bigger plan!
I was forced and beaten
with every situation,
and yet I still never listened
And yet.....I still disobeyed
I gave into way to many sins,
but yet...God still had a plan.
as it begun,
I turned to run
but running.....it just wasn't an option.
Light became visible,
as your footsteps became invincible,
as I looked around, everything was gone
and yet....I finally obeyed
2 Corinthians 1:12
I lost many years and tears, is all I have, left.
The light showed dimmed
and the reaper grinned
I just never found a way.
I disobeyed.....
Year by year
with many fears,
where did I go wrong?
Day by day,
Tear for every conflicting beer,
I still never realized the pain.
My wants and my ambitions got in the way
I was just trying to divide the pain
but I put myself into this situation.
I struggled and fought
found myself conflicted with every thought
And still....I disobeyed
I learned and tried to listen
to every premonition,
but God had a much bigger plan!
I was forced and beaten
with every situation,
and yet I still never listened
And yet.....I still disobeyed
I gave into way to many sins,
but yet...God still had a plan.
as it begun,
I turned to run
but running.....it just wasn't an option.
Light became visible,
as your footsteps became invincible,
as I looked around, everything was gone
and yet....I finally obeyed
2 Corinthians 1:12
Monday, December 14, 2009
Timed
As today comes swinging to a halt, it's late but not early. As we come to the final decisions, do we stay or shall I run, but if we do either, may we use the same fire escape?
We stand here, fogged with decisions and with every other answer from someone else, we find ourselves more confused than when we started. Dazed and confused about our outcomes, i figured that when were done, we will not divided together.
I remember the great things that are lost and i remembered the lost that were great, but in the grey, we all lost!
As the days approach quicker and our hearts break together, they stop and ask us..."What are you two going to do?"
We question each other time and time again, until the answer bugs us and as time flips away, you still the only one he sees. Finishing up and taking a leap, for the first time, i truly can fly. As the line is drawn and the temptation to jump is finally behind, we look deep in each other but never looking down!
Looking backward instead, and running forward, all i see is you and my dreams are finally coming true. We answer their questions together, finally seeing where we stand, but if divided there would never be an end. But together, may the world not stand in our way...For in God...For in God, we were always there!
Genisis 2:23-24
The man said, "Thisis now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be unitied with his wife, and they will become one flesh.
We stand here, fogged with decisions and with every other answer from someone else, we find ourselves more confused than when we started. Dazed and confused about our outcomes, i figured that when were done, we will not divided together.
I remember the great things that are lost and i remembered the lost that were great, but in the grey, we all lost!
As the days approach quicker and our hearts break together, they stop and ask us..."What are you two going to do?"
We question each other time and time again, until the answer bugs us and as time flips away, you still the only one he sees. Finishing up and taking a leap, for the first time, i truly can fly. As the line is drawn and the temptation to jump is finally behind, we look deep in each other but never looking down!
Looking backward instead, and running forward, all i see is you and my dreams are finally coming true. We answer their questions together, finally seeing where we stand, but if divided there would never be an end. But together, may the world not stand in our way...For in God...For in God, we were always there!
Genisis 2:23-24
The man said, "Thisis now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be unitied with his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Departed
Branded together and always there, we will stand in strands but correlate together. When Divided though, we are departed...
Fighting through the struggle of the line, when stuck in the middle, it always feels like the end. Through our eyes we see the front of the line, but with years passing, inch by inch we never moved at all.
Warmth where we stand, like the line between light and dark, and it always gets colder as we moved on. As we cover new territory, and begin trespassing, I try not to trespass against others, but I stumble and fall.
I contimplate what to do next, but it's just to foggy to decide with decisions clouding my thoughts. There is this and there is that. but for what? The coagulation of each!
I fight to finish this fight and feel the heat when I get there. God forgive me for my trespasses, God forgive us for our trespasses, and pick us up as we break and fall. Help us to finish the race, and provide when we feel untouchable!
Fighting through the struggle of the line, when stuck in the middle, it always feels like the end. Through our eyes we see the front of the line, but with years passing, inch by inch we never moved at all.
Warmth where we stand, like the line between light and dark, and it always gets colder as we moved on. As we cover new territory, and begin trespassing, I try not to trespass against others, but I stumble and fall.
I contimplate what to do next, but it's just to foggy to decide with decisions clouding my thoughts. There is this and there is that. but for what? The coagulation of each!
I fight to finish this fight and feel the heat when I get there. God forgive me for my trespasses, God forgive us for our trespasses, and pick us up as we break and fall. Help us to finish the race, and provide when we feel untouchable!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
One Scarred Hand to Another
As I walk through, I see you but I choose the closest hand.
(He is jealous for me,)
Beaten and disappointed I choose to follow,
(Loves like a hurricane: I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy)
And by choice, I find the others, one scarred hand to another.
(When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions embraced by glory,)
Humbled and unaware, scarred hands from Hell and back, torn between insecurities are blemished but never seeming undone from the eye.
(And I realize just how beautiful you are, and how great your affections are for me)
As we are divided by hands and not seeing your truth, I realize Why Can't Just Follow Directions then....
(And OH, how he loves us so, OH! how he loves us so, Oh! How he loves us all)
As my temperament changes and as the blind lead the blind, moving a million yards down...together we STAND!
(We are his portion and he is our prize drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes,)
Never dividing and never giving up, we fight for the end and until it comes.
(If grace is an ocean, then we're all sinking.)
Deciding to stop is not in the invitation and to quit is not an option
(And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, and my heart turns violently inside of my chest.)
And with all our regrets and all of our discretion's, we persevere, with God, with each other, one scarred hand to another.
(I don't have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way...)
Oh and how HE loves so
Oh! How he loves us so, and
how he loves us all
(He is jealous for me,)
Beaten and disappointed I choose to follow,
(Loves like a hurricane: I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy)
And by choice, I find the others, one scarred hand to another.
(When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions embraced by glory,)
Humbled and unaware, scarred hands from Hell and back, torn between insecurities are blemished but never seeming undone from the eye.
(And I realize just how beautiful you are, and how great your affections are for me)
As we are divided by hands and not seeing your truth, I realize Why Can't Just Follow Directions then....
(And OH, how he loves us so, OH! how he loves us so, Oh! How he loves us all)
As my temperament changes and as the blind lead the blind, moving a million yards down...together we STAND!
(We are his portion and he is our prize drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes,)
Never dividing and never giving up, we fight for the end and until it comes.
(If grace is an ocean, then we're all sinking.)
Deciding to stop is not in the invitation and to quit is not an option
(And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss, and my heart turns violently inside of my chest.)
And with all our regrets and all of our discretion's, we persevere, with God, with each other, one scarred hand to another.
(I don't have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way...)
Oh and how HE loves so
Oh! How he loves us so, and
how he loves us all
Romans 12:1-3
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