Exposed

The Wonderful Cross
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all


Today I awoke to darkness and silence surrounded me like I've never been embraced before. All the things that I had held down were exposed and there was nothing in my power that I could do. It was like the fly, that had reached its 23 hour of the 24 hours that it is allowed to live. When I started to wonder why I felt this way or why, it just seemed like this at that moment, it reminded me that I was deceitful to myself and those around me. I began my day and asked God for a reason, but I had done this to myself just like the child that burns their hand because they see the fire and don't ask questions.
God responded to me as my tears begin to flow, "Tell them, tell them all what you've done." As I contemplated that, my fears began to jump up and down and the thoughts of doing that flowed like an untamed river, but as I thought back and thought about the deceit, I began to understand more. I deceived those who matter a lot and to those who were there for me when the darkness surrounded me, like a consuming fire. And even though I knew that, I always thought that God was my consuming fire...but he had temporarily been replaced by temptation and lies.
As I scrambled to get back to a place of safety, things just seemed to get darker....I was going about it the wrong way..
I needed to speak up and show that I to needed help, just not from others, but from God. I needed to know when I was wrong and how to open up, just a little bit better instead of taking my prideful ways and keeping it built up and swelled up inside. I love God in time of needs because it's, he's, the one that shows us who we really are. I divided myself with this new experience and as I try now to change my ways, I thank God everyday for allowing me to go through this. Unlike those that told Job to curse God for his tragedy, I too received faith in God like Job did and persevered by praising instead of sying!

God, today I come to you broken and ashamed. God I've done things this time that I regret and really don't have an answer on why I did them. God please bless my family and my friends that put up with me on a daily basis and yet still have more than just love for me. God please bless those that have less than I do and show them in you own way who you are and just how great you are to your children. God I'm thankful for being a child of God, but tonight could you please just bring me peace and to those also around me that need it, whether it be for the same thing or for forgiveness of something else. But God, bring them into your kingdom and show them only grace. God, show those who are lonely today or who are just wondering where you want them to go with your love to show to those who don't even know it yet, but God may you be the lamp to their feet and their love and to just let them know that your in control and never will you forgive us or forsake us. God thank you, and we praise and love you, all of this, one scarred hand to another.


1 John 2:9-11
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there's is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.